Gay "RiGhTs": ThE se7en hEaVeNLy Gay ViRtuES

Hello My dear island of the natives! Last week I wrote about the seven deadly gay sins, and boy did I get a lot of messages. Nearly all of your messages praised my article, but also mentioned how depressing it was to see gay life so accurately displayed. Well, as the cliche goes, the truth really does hurt. However, before a rash of suicides causes my page views to drop, I thought I would follow up this week with the seven heavenly gay virtues. While I appreciated some of your suggestions about what some possible gay virtues might be, I don't think brunch, cock rings and Liza are broad enough to make the list. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate them, though.

Contribution

There's a biological theory that the rise of homosexuality is a result of increasing population. Gay people are vital to a growing community because they contribute more than they take away. For instance, we generally don't have children, so we can provide more time and effort to the group while not adding additional members. In a larger sense, gay people are the essence of behind-the-scenes effort in daily life. We do all the heavy lifting, from UPS truck driving to writing jokes on sitcoms, that is unseen and taken for granted.

Invention

There is a reason that Madonna and Cher are gay icons. Invention is an important aspect of gay life, and it's a big part of what people like about gay people. On one level, invention can be the ability to transform yourself from the nerdy kid who got picked on into the world's leading style expert. It's also about creating unique change, the kind of primordial leap that wouldn't have happened gradually on its own, like when gay people move into a neighborhood and turn it trendy. Being forced to live life outside the norm causes us to look at things very differently. That's what allows us to have ideas, perspectives and outfits that revolutionize the world.

Lightness

Gay men in particular have a reputation for flakiness, but I think it is just a byproduct of lightness. We have an ability to make things light that goes beyond just being able to tell a well-timed joke. Everyone knows gay people throw the best parties. It's because we take fun very seriously and hold it in very high regard. This is an asset in a difficult and sometimes troubling world. Our ability to ease the crushing stress of daily life makes us a vital part of the human experience.

Risk

While it isn't necessarily an asset in the realm of casual sex, gay people are good at taking calculated risks. Coming out is a risky proposition, but so is staying in the closet. As a group, we like to take chances and put things on the line. There is a core of bravery in gay life that is essential for continued existence. There is no risk in doing what is expected of you, which is why risk is so important in the gay community. Everything we do defies expectation, so our ability to take a risk often pulls us ahead of the pack.

Spacuna

Yes, it's true. One of the gay virtues doesn't even have a word in English, so I am resorting to colloquial Italian. Spacuna is the quality possessed by someone who isn't rich but who lives like they are. Basically, it means living well within your means. There can be an inherent richness to gay life no matter how much money a person has. It's this ability to live well, to flourish with few resources, that is a hallmark of gay life.

Cohesion

Not all of us are terrifically organized or anal-retentive about the details, but we do have an inherent gift for bringing things together. Sometimes it's pulling together disparate elements or strangers and creating just the right fit. It might be an ability to mix and match a great outfit or arrange furniture in a room that goes behind pure creativity. Getting things together is about creating something that's right in its own time and space.

X

Call it fairy dust if you like, but gay people have an X factor that makes them unique and better than ordinary people. It's the combination of our sins and virtues, our outsider status and our unique sexuality that come together to give us that essential element that sets us apart. It's impossible to fully explain, but the X is what gives us our gay culture. More than who we sleep with, it is what identifies us as gay people. Thank God for the X, because it's the reason I write my column every week and it's the reason you are reading it right now.